MARRIAGE: A GIFT FROM GOD - Part IV

(Family Life - 2010-11-28)

No doubt, it has been a glorious and refreshing time and month for us all. SO far, we have learnt that marriage is not just a right for the aged, but a gift from God. We also learnt about the worth, and the covenant obligations of husbands and wives for a blessed marriage.

This week, I will be presenting to you one of the vital keys to enjoying the gift of marriage, which is Operating in Wisdom!

 There's nothing of beauty that didn't take some work to put in place. Just like every beautiful garden was tended before it became beautiful, in like manner, marriage must be tended before it can work. It must continue to be tended to continue working.

 The Bible speaking in the Book of I Peter 3:7 (Amp. Bible) says:

In the same way you married men should live considerately with [your wives], with an intelligent recognition [of the marriage relation], honoring the woman as [physically] the weaker, but [realizing that you] are joint heirs of the grace (God's unmerited favor) of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered and cut off. [Otherwise you cannot pray effectively.]

When a man understands the nature of his wife and works according to that understanding, problems are less likely to arise in their home. That man puts less pressure on her because he realizes that she is not a robot. She is a wife, mother and homemaker all at once, and these all place a demand on her. He must be considerate of her feelings and needs, and be available to minister to her.

 When a man beats his wife, he exhibits folly (Proverbs 26:4). No matter how provoked, a man must never stoop so low. The Word of God says in

Ephesians 5:29: For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church.

Lack of communication and understanding, among others, are some of the reasons some men abuse and beat their wives. The man must understand that the woman was given to him by God to take care of, not to beat.
Surprisingly, the role of the husband is drawn from that of Christ towards the church, not from any human example. Thus, the man must discover the selfless way Christ loved the church, and love his wife the same way by God's grace.

 Husbands should not, for whatever reason, give up on their wives, instead give her honour. Don't render evil for evil. Don't seek to repay every wrong with a wrong, for two wrongs can never make a right. Jesus also endured all the contradictions of sinners, so we too can overlook certain things just as He did.

 Speaking to the wives, Solomon said:

Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands (Proverbs 14:1).

God in His infinite wisdom has planned one man for one woman. Every woman in God's design has her own home. What becomes of that home, however, depends on the woman. This appears to be an awesome responsibility, but by the grace of God and hardwork, it is accomplishable.

 Abigail is a typical example of a woman of wisdom and of good understanding (I Samuel 25:3). Though Abigail made a mistake by marrying a man, she did not see what she expected in him. She married a man, who was unequally yoked with her kind of person, yet she lived with him for all the years she did without fighting or becoming like him in character. That has proved to us that she was a woman of a wise heart. No doubt, situations would have warranted her speaking against him and passing judgments on him, which could have caused her destruction but because she operated in wisdom, she was credited for her good work.

 I believe one wise step Abigail took was to adapt to the situation. Learn to adapt. Become adjusted to your husband's plans, way of life, e.t.c. This does not mean that when he is going wrong, you leave him or follow his ways. It simply means to be flexible to his decisions. I Peter 3:1 in Amplified Bible says: ...Married women...adapt yourselves to them... When your husband takes decisions that are different from your plans, see how you can work them out and fit in. If he has certain weakness that you are strong in, help him; appreciate his good points and point out his mistakes in a kind of gentle way.

 Embrace wisdom; it will bring you to honour, it will make your home precious before God and men. Inside wisdom is direction that leads you to a place of distinction and glorification. When you operate in wisdom, your home begins to shine as gold. People cannot help but be attracted to you, just as the glitter of gold attracts people. Knowing how to apply the knowledge of the Word of God is wisdom. It will help you to know how to speak positive and edifying words to your spouse, relate with your in-laws in genuine love, e.t.c.

 Therefore, operating in wisdom is a vital key to enjoying the gift of marriage. You can only apply the knowledge of the Word of God, which is wisdom, when you have totally surrendered your life to God. The Bible says:

But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned (I Corinthians 2:14).

Therefore, if you have not accepted Christ as your Lord and personal Saviour, whose direction will enable you walk in wisdom to enjoying the gift of marriage, say this prayer of faith: